It’s Time for Change!

Things need to change. No I don’t mean the nature of politics and the political nature of our country. But they do. Bring on proportional representation. Bring on a new leader of New Labour. Bring on a revitalised Liberal Democratic Party. And, bring on the total demise of UKIP. And, bring it on quickly before the Conservatives bring on the type of radical, right-wing change that drives us straight back to the 1980s when it was us against them and everyman for himself.

But, at least with Ed Balls (result!), George Galloway (result!), Vince Cable (shame) and Nigel Farage (result!) all now out of work, I am really looking forward to an excellent series of Celebrity Big Brother this year. And, your local pantomime will have no difficulty filling the role of the baddy this Christmas…..

But, I didn’t mean politics. I meant personal

I am pushing fifty. Many of my friends are, or soon will be, on the wrong side of that particular milestone in life (not that I like to rub it in…..much) but it will be my turn all too soon. And, I need to consider my weight, my fitness, and my health.

My Facebook news feed is full of friends who are running 10ks, marathons, and iron man competitions and/or promoting healthy nutrition, cleansing regimes and angelic lifestyles. Well, good for them. I am impressed by their efforts and heroics but they are not my motivation.

No, my motivation is personal. It is an ever-expanding waistline and an increasing reluctance to look at the bathroom scales in a morning. It seems that I have not inherited my dad’s slim gene. But, I have inherited an old man’s knees and a taste for the finer things in life.

And so, C and I have decided to do something about it. Well, actually, C decided to do something about it and I agreed to go along. We have decided to try the new Couch to 10k app. I think that getting fit using my iPhone appeals to the X-Box ninja in me…. We will soon be seen (as a blur) circuiting the block at first walking, then running, then walking a little less and running a little more until we are able to run non-stop for a full 10k.

So, the new to-be fitness regime involved getting the right clothes to wear. Yesterday, we set off to John Lewis to acquire running gear for yours truly. We failed at the first hurdle – JL’s selection of running shoes was pitiful, especially as I was adamant that the new foray into self harm wasn’t going to cost me an arm and a leg…..literally, figuratively, or financially. Any shoes that were within budget failed C’s “you’re not going out in those test”. My cunning plan had been foiled….

I soon gave up on “tracksuit bottoms” as they no longer exist. At least, not in the format that they did the last time I was doing any serious exercise – circa 1990. The new running tights made me look like Mr Invincible – all shoulders and chest with a pair of out-of-proportion skinny legs propping me up. And that was only when I was sucking in my stomach, which I suspect I will not be able to do for a full 10k. And the new training trousers made me look as if I was in my pyjamas and ready for bed. So, I selected a pair of shorts, deciding that my knees will just have to be exposed to the fresh air.

And, I also selected a not-too garish/not-too dull top, albeit that was far from an easy task either. Some were so tight they made me look like a stack of spare tyres wearing a gimp suit. Others were so baggy that they needed to be pegged out. But, eventually, I got sorted.

However, the whole process was exhausting and so I felt the urge for a pizza and the sofa, which is kind of the reason I had got into this position in the first place. But, while ensconced on said sofa I did at least manage to surf the net and acquire a pair of running shoes. So, that’s the first step of Couch to 10k completed. Result! Getting off the sofa might be a little more tricky……and painful.

PS. I would just like to take this opportunity to apologise to my knees.