Happy Easter Everyone….
Little Britain (for we are sadly no longer the United Kingdom) has turned its back on the one institution which has largely kept the peace on the continent of Europe (if you ignore the Balkan wars that is….) since the Second World War (which ended in 1945 in case we have stopped teaching that in history lessons for fear that we might actually learn from the errors of the past….).
Those that voted for Brexit seem to have been motivated by frustration with having to eat straight bananas; “fake” advertising on the side of a bus; or the ridiculous notion that taking control of our own borders would somehow mean less of those people who “aren’t like us” streaming across. You know, those who do the jobs we don’t want to do, keep our institutions running, and make a huge contribution to our economy. But, maddeningly, they do so with a strange and untrustworthy accent….
And so, we have “triggered” (a very apt term methinks….) Article 50 and turned our shoulder to our neighbours to build closer ties to China, Saudi Arabia and the Commonwealth (or former Empire as we like to call it….) while continuing to lick the arse of the ginger Mad Man in the White House.
It seems to be going very well at the moment. Not. The Scots are demanding independence yet again, and we English hope to deter them with common sense (yet hypocritical and ironic) arguments that it would be economic suicide for Scotland to separate from its largest trading partner….
There is a renewed call for the reunification of the Island of Ireland as an alternative to rebuilding the wall between North and South. And, the Welsh are also upset, spurning the allure of the structured funding it received from the EU (some £4 billion since 2000) and are looking to rebuild Offa’s Dyke, restart their campaign of burning holiday homes, and, reprinting all the road signs in Cymraeg….
The Government, somewhat at a loss at what to do, seem to be resorting to that Thatcheresque (or Putinesque, or Trumpesque) strategy of looking for a winnable foreign war to distract us from events at home; and, doing its level best to stoke our jingoistic fervour.
Thankfully we stopped short of unleashing Bumbling Boris on Russia, preferring instead to antagonise easier targets; reaffirming the Britishness of the Falkland Islands; sending “the Fleet” to Gibraltar; and issuing a new pound coin and a fiver with a picture of Winston Churchill on it….
And, we have taken this great leap into the blindingly obvious at a time when there is a mad man in the White House; a mad man in the Kremlin; a mad man in Pyongyang; and, a mad man in power in Istanbul; a murderous mad man gassing his own in Syria; the Chinese building airstrips and naval bases in any part of the Asia-Pacific that has proximity to oil; and, fanatical Islamist mad men wielding kitchen knives, automobiles and road-side bombs just about everywhere.
Bumbling Boris has his hands full at a time when diplomacy seems to have died a death and our great leaders prefer to send messages to each other via Twitter and email, and in the form of gun boats, barrel bombs, nuclear weapons testing, and the Mother of All Bombs….
At least it is a long weekend here in Blighty. The shelves at Waitrose are now empty of lamb; devoid of all varieties of festive confectionery; and we can bury our heads while chasing the Easter Bunny and hunting for eggs and pretending that we are safe and sound, green and pleasant, and soon to be Great again!
Unless one of the mad men blows it all up….