The aftermath of Christmas….

December 29, 2015 at 5:49 pm 1 comment


It is that strange time between Christmas and New Year. The time between the one celebration and the other. Where an albeit muted overindulgence is still allowed ahead of all-too-briefly adhered to resolutions.

The flood waters still cover much of the North and the weather reports warn of worse to come in the form of storm Frank. And with it the threat of more disorientated southern politicians venturing into the Northern wilderness with their borrowed North Face waterproofs, buffed Hunters, and a northern dialect translator talking to them in their earpiece. Everyone of those politicians is in need of a bedside manner , a combover, and a flood defence policy which is morse sensible and long term than “build the walls bigger” and “leave the floodplain and evacuate Yorkshire”. Imagine the misery that would inflict on the rest of the country. The politicians might want to consider planting a tree or two, and stop straightening the rivers….

By now the relatives have long gone. A few more needles and the odd piece of shattered bauble surround the base of a tree where once presents were piled.

Dustbins and recycling bins everywhere are overflowing with wrapping paper, envelopes, and enough food wastage to have fed an African village for a month or to give Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall nightmares for even longer. It is unclear when they will be emptied and they are now positioned as far from the house as possible, still attracting flies in this unfeasibly mild winter.

Indoors the house is infused with a heady mix of spent spiced candles, stale alcohol, the fading whiff of turkey leftovers, and dank, damp sprouts which still hangs heavy in the air. The fridge is almost empty except for the strong odour of blue cheese, an open jar of cranberry sauce, an unwanted pot of Gentleman’s relish, and a tub of brandy butter looking for a long-since departed mince pies.

It is only possible to determine what day of the week it is by cross-referencing the shows on the TV with the now well-thumbed copy of the Radio Times. And even that is an imprecise science and require a station-specific scrutiny due to the endless re-runs of Top Gear and the Doctor Who Christmas special.

And, the post-festive gloom is still aglow with the twinkle of fairy lights.

Despite the now compulsory obsession with our weight, thoughts turn to trips to the supermarket to replenish stocks of alcohol before the prohibition and good intention of the post-New Year period kicks in. Couples across the land are going into withdrawal, having finished their last box of Thorntons Classics Marvellous Mint Favourites and the Champagne Truffles from the hamper; and the tension is mounting as conversation will need to replace the safety and comfort of the box set, now that we are down to the last episode of the Man in the High Castle.

But it has been a good Christmas shared with family and friends in good humour, generosity and affection. And now, thoughts are turning to the challenges, possibilities, probabilities and opportunities of the New Year. A chance to change. A chance to improve. A chance to be better. I wonder where we will be this time next year…….?

Let’s hope it’s a good one!

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Entry filed under: middleman.

Merry Christmas Everyone! 2015 in review

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Dave woods  |  January 19, 2016 at 5:24 pm

    Oh wot joy christmas gone, oh i was alone on xmas day then all of a sudden i got an offer for xmas dinner off a neighbour, still great dinner to be had drunk on jack daniels, also free, i had had a two tot and was drunk due to none drinker mostly, i thought this site was to do with ghosts? If you ever come to middlewich, look me up i have more than a tale to tell, im not gay either, i prefer to leave that lot to devil worship, as thats were their going when they die, yes and go never to return.

    Like

    Reply

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