Don’t “Call ME Dave”….

October 4, 2015 at 12:45 pm Leave a comment

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I want to make one thing very, very, very clear – I am not David Cameron.

Yes, he and I were at Oxford at the same time. But we never met. Or, if we did, I do not remember so doing.

Yes, I too have been present at parties where friends have smoked cannabis. (You know who you are….) But, I couldn’t roll a spliff to save my life.

I might also have the Logical Song and Breakfast in America on my iPod playlist. And, I might also have married a stunningly attractive wife who many consider to be out of my league.

But, there the similarity ends.

For sure, if anyone wants to give me millions of pounds to help them get a political office then I will happily take it without batting an eyelid.

And true, I was once a member of an exclusive Oxford society called the Lads. But, this was nothing like the Bullingdon or the Flam Club. Nothing like the Piers Gaveston Society. Being a member of the Lads involved occasionally dressing up like Jake and Elwood from the Blues Brothers and going for a good curry down the Iffley Road. And, the Lads membership included a number of women. We needed someone to guide us back to College after one too many beer or three after all….

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I too took part in a College initiation (humiliation) ceremony, which I seem to remember (actually, I am not sure I do remember…..) involved beer, beer, dropping your trousers, beer, Hawaiian shirts, porridge, and beer….

And, which hot-blooded male hasn’t at least once considered the merits of the extension hose of a vacuum cleaner or the actual apple pie scene in American Pie?

But, my genitalia have never once seen the inside of a pig’s mouth.

I just wanted to make that clear!

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Do the math (s) America….. A Bag Is For Life

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