The Clock is ticking…..

January 24, 2015 at 5:26 pm Leave a comment

image

We are doomed.

On Thursday last week, as the world was distracted by such news frippery and trivia as Obama’s State of the Union address and the death of Deirdre Barlow of Coronation Street fame (RIP – far too young….), the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists moved the Doomsday Clock forward two whole minutes, to just three minutes before midnight.

We are doomed.

The world is on the brink of self-wrought destruction. Not the Ebola virus. Not alien invasion or an infestation of zombies.

No. Instead, our imminent destruction will result from the ubiquity of outdated nuclear weapons under the control of nutters like Putin and, if the UK election pans out as seems likely, by Red Ed Miliband or, Heaven help us, Boris Johnson.

We are doomed.

And, if the nukes don’t get us then the climate will. Man-made climate change will continue to result in global warming. The seas will rise and flood the low lands while the highlands will burn as fire ravages the land and a displaced populace, ravaged by disease and pestilence, will tear themselves apart in an anarchic world with limited resources.

We are doomed.

Apparently, the Atomic boffins were considering moving it to just one minute to midnight but did not want to appear too pessimistic.

There is after all a chance that we will be thrown back to the Middle Ages if ISIS continues its rampant advance across the Middle East. It might just save the planet.image

Another mitigating factor was that it has also become clear that there is little chance of Katie Hopkins and Perez Hilton breeding, after getting it on in the Celebrity Big Brother House. Imagine the consequences.

Maybe there is hope for us all after all….

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Entry filed under: Cautionary Tales, humour. Tags: , , , , , .

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