It’s all going down hill….

December 18, 2014 at 8:48 am Leave a comment


This week I had to go and get my eyes tested. Again. It seems like only five minutes since I succumbed to needing my first ever pair of glasses, for reading. And, in just a couple of years I am now on my third prescription and will soon be sporting a new set of “progressive” lenses in a third set of expensive frames.

Progressive? This doesn’t feel much like progress to me. Rather, it feels like an all too alarming deterioration in my ability to see. An all too alarming deterioration in me. I now have poor eyesight to add to the deafness in my right ear and a dodgy knee which foreshortened an otherwise promising footballing career. Well, maybe not….

Touch wood I am otherwise in fine fettle and am at least, blessed with good looks. Well maybe not….

But, unlike some, I am at least not in denial about my age. Some of my friends have become “competitive dads”, while others seem set on exploiting / resolving the concerns that other friends and family might have about their own ageing, weight and health. They have set themselves up as health ambassadors in apparently lucrative second careers. Good luck to them and their followers. Feel free to visit Fit and Fabulous at 40+ (and she is!) or to explore the relative merits of Herbalife. And, I managed to say that without mentioning “pyramid buying” once….  😉

I wish both well, but, personally, the very thought of detoxing and going without sends shivers down my rapidly expanding waistline….

friendsAnd talking of being in denial, many of my nearest and dearest will reach their half centuries next year. The word “fifty” is not to be spoken out loud. It is the “new forty”. I do not reach my fifth decade until the following year as I am the baby of the group which came together at university in a different century.

To be fair they are all fit and healthy. Thank goodness. But while I suspect the women may head to the nearest spa and bottle of Dom Perignon by way of celebration, the Lads intend to embark on a lengthy, arduous, off-road mountain bike trek interspersed with several contests of who can piss highest up a wall.

They asked if I wanted to carry their bags. I declined…even though I would win the pissing competition.pissing


Entry filed under: humour, rant. Tags: , , , , , , .

A Clear and Present Danger! 2014 in review

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