The worst night of my life…..

May 13, 2014 at 6:50 am 4 comments



Last night was one of the worst nights of my life……

As I was finishing work I started with stomach cramps. I threw up in my room about 6.45pm before cleaning myself up and meeting my colleagues in the hotel bar. I felt a little better afterwards and put it down to being tired – I haven’t fully recovered from the jet lag, despite being in Manila a week already – and feeling a little stressed and quite a bit homesick.

I didn’t fancy venturing out into the heat and bustle of the Greenbelt and so persuaded my colleagues that we should eat in the bar. I didn’t feel like food but thought I should line my stomach. I ordered something light – a Korean noodle broth soup with chicken and cabbage. They sent me a seafood soup, the smell of which sent my stomach turning somersaults. I sent it back and insisted that I had ordered chicken soup. They brought me chicken soup. Spicy, creamy Thai chicken soup. Not the light noodle chicken broth I had hoped for.

By now I was losing the will – my colleagues had already finished their meals. I sipped a couple of spoonfuls but ignored the six bread rolls (six!) they brought to accompany my soup. The somersaults continued and I made my excuses.

I barely got back to my room before vomiting quite violently. I got ready for bed. I didn’t see much of my bed. Every twenty to thirty minutes or so I was forced to rush to the bathroom to be sick or with  diarrhoea and painful cramping.

After an hour or so I simply lay on the cool marble floor of the bathroom clinging desperately to the great white telephone, waiting for the next wave of nausea or worse to engulf me. My head throbbed, my muscles ached.

This was not just something that I had eaten. This was not a mere dose of food poisoning. This was not just norovirus. This was man-norovirus. Either that or I had been targeted in a vicious act of industrial espionage. At one point I was excreting bodily fluids from both ends at such a pace that I began to fear I was a victim of Ebola and that my internal organs were liquidising…..I was convinced that more was coming out of my body than could possibly have gone into it.

I was, however, impressed with my agility. For a big bloke I can move fast when I need to. But even I was impressed with the speed with which I could spin from a seated position to being on my knees and hugging the bowl….

I endured twelve hours or so of this before my symptoms subsided. I took to my bed and slept fitfully for a couple of hours. And now, I am sharing my day with my new best friends – Imodium and Diarolyte…..


Entry filed under: business travel, Cautionary Tales, middleman, travel. Tags: , , , , .

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4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. dannyllama  |  May 13, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    Hope you are back to normal soon. Might I suggest plain rice and a banana, that should stop the liquid bottom! There is nothing worse than being sick and being away from home. All you want is your own bed, a pat on the head and to be occasionally told that you are ‘Mummy’s Brave Soldier ‘!


    • 2. Middle Man  |  May 14, 2014 at 6:26 am

      Thanks Dannyllama. I am trying to stick to a banana diet for a day or so. Disappointed that you hadn’t recommended vodka though…..


  • 3. Anonymous  |  May 13, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    I feel your pain mate! Take comfort in the fact that you are in a long line of Brits who have gone down this well trodden path! On top of medication I also recommend wet wipes, dry crackers and Underberg…. latter kills everything!
    Get well soon and seek out Docs if no improvement! JP


    • 4. Middle Man  |  May 14, 2014 at 6:28 am

      Underberg?! Are you trying to kill me off JP? I suspect that there is something in the white, middle-aged gene that causes this.



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