The Desolation of Business Class

May 3, 2014 at 11:29 pm Leave a comment





Currently kicking my heels in the Emirates business lounge in Dubai….

Whoever thought it was going to be a good idea to allow mobile phones to be used on board planes should be shot!

Possibly my penultimate business class flight – my company, with a market cap of a mere $10 billion has decided that its executives should travel cattle class (and in their own time and over a Bank Holiday weekend) – was tarnished somewhat by someone doing a Dom Joly impression on his mobile phone.

Of course, he had to wait until after drinks and dinner had been served and the cabin lights had been dimmed. He chose that time when all good travellers who have not made their way to the bar (gotta love the Airbus 380) seek slumber in their flat beds.

And so my sleep was interrupted by his banal conversation about what he ate in the lounge, instructions to his wife to collect his dry cleaning and shirts, and his promises to Trixie and Harrison (it is a case of Bob Geldof does Dexter apparently…….) that he would bring them a nice present on the way back home.

This guy was immune to the tutting and disapproving glances that surrounded him. Having finished his call he promptly fell asleep and began to snore….like a trooper. Like a trooper in need of rhinoplasty.

I tried to drown him out by watching a couple of movies and a glass or two of Napa Valley Syrah. I watched The Hobbit 2 – The Desolation of Smaug, which was excellent for its special effects, the recreation of Middle Earth, and Evangeline Lily (I would be Lost without her!). Unfortunately, much as with The Hobbit 1, it stopped rather than ended……quite abruptly……

I then moved on to Bad Country. What William Dafoe delivered by way of anal sex and bad parenting in the Anitichrist was more than made up for (not) in this Hicksville celebration of handlebar moustaches, muscle cars, pickup trucks and bad French Louisiana accents.

I may (unlikely) have been doing a disservice to both movies, however. My screen (despite being re-booted twice) would “hesitate” every 30 seconds or so, which resulted in an effect not dissimilar to watching a home movie in the 1970s….

And now for the Manila leg! At least Birmingham City avoided relegation!!





Entry filed under: business travel, middleman. Tags: , , .

Noah….Woah! It Just Ain’t An Airbus….

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