Two Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

October 20, 2013 at 5:06 pm Leave a comment

Nicole Scherzinger at the Tacoma Dome

Nicole Scherzinger at the Tacoma Dome (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Is it just me? I have (another) guilty secret. I am actually enjoying this year’s X Factor. Well, I am finding it entertaining at least. Unlike Nicole (sigh) I haven’t yet experienced face goosebumps. Nor have I yet gone as far as finding a track I want to download or felt a need to watch any performance a second time on You Tube. And, I guarantee that the winner’s single will not be on my Christmas wish list. But, the show is entertaining.

I think that the return of the very easy-on-the-eye Nicole Scherzinger, and the tweaks in the format have helped. But for sure, it is the lack of novelty acts this year that have done it for me.

The success of acts like Jedwood and Rylan and that bloody Klingon, Wagner made my blood boil in previous years. I know that these acts only got through Boot Camp because the producers thought that it would be good for the ratings and/or get the kids voting and, therefore, spending money. I know that they only got through Boot Camp because Louis (he who put the camp in the boot) Walsh gets a vote. But, I couldn’t help thinking that their presence in the live shows meant that genuine contenders or more deserving applicants or someone who could actually sing were missing out on their fifteen minutes because of a mad Irishman of dubious sexuality, stuck in the 1980s with a dodgy hair transplant and an unhealthy interest in boy bands.

The novelty acts also brought out the worst in the voting public. This is why democracy is failing in this country. This is why Scotland should be very afraid for its future. Children who “should have been in bed already” voted to keep the novelty acts in because they thought it was funny. People who hated the show voted for them in the hope that their success would bring about the demise of the show and Simon Cowell. And then there are those who were genuinely impressed by the acts – they do apparently air the programme in mental institutes and other places housing people who we should be preventing from voting through the wearing of straitjackets.

But of course, this being X Factor, the programme could not be the simple singing contest we all hope it would be. They could not go the whole way and cut out all of the novelty and make it a serious talent competition. And so, we are to be weaned off the likes of Chico and the icky brother and sister act, Same Difference with acts like Shelley. Shelley Smith is the reason why most sane men would avoid a blind date and why most people are glad that they live a long way away from Devon. You’re not telling me that she isn’t the product of a very small gene pool and a dangerous concoction of drugs, Asti Spumante, and pies.

And, the show has not been able to fully shake off its intimate links with the asylum. After all, Louis and Sharon Osborne are let out on day release at least twice a week. And, if I had been married to Cruella De Vil for as long as Ozzy I too would be a) separated and b) self-medicating…..

It’s the results show tonight. I can’t wait!



Entry filed under: middleman. Tags: , , , , .

Dudley I’m A Celebrity…..

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