Cats and Dogs

November 1, 2010 at 10:41 am Leave a comment

Now I know that you’re either a cat person or a dog person, and, with the big fur ball baby, Maslow,  making gooey eyes at me as I type, I declare a certain bias in this respect – he’s hungry. He’s always hungry. Which, is why he weighs 6.5 kilos and is on a diet!

But, any neutral on the subject would have to declare that, without a shadow of a doubt, cats are so much better than dogs.

I don’t dislike dogs (although the odd Korean takeaway apart I’m not sure I could eat a whole one – wa wa wa) And,  some of my best friends are dog owners. But, I am allergic to them (the dogs, not the friends). Well, some of them (dogs again). And, it is hard to warm to a creature that makes your skin itch, your eyes water and your breath to shorten.

And, yes I understand that whole loyalty bit, and the waggy tail thing. But, on the whole, you have to admit that your average mutt is stupid. Just look at any Animals Do The Funniest Things or You’ve Been Framed and you will see what I mean. And, I have to admit that I was extremely put off when I once watched my mother-in-law’s dog eat another dog’s poo when taking it for a walk. That takes “dog breath” to a whole new dimension. Yeuch.

You have to walk dogs. They slobber. They fart. They crap everywhere. They smell each others’ bottoms and try to shag everything and anything.  They howl and bark at the moon. And, they eat small children out of jealousy.

Cat’s on the other hand are very, very clean. They bury their waste products. They entertain themselves. They warm your lap on a cold day. And, they are psychic. They exactly know your mood and come to cheer you up when you are feeling down. And, they are intelligent. A cat can wrap you round its little paw pad and manipulate you into doing exactly what it needs you too. There are few, if any downsides to a kitty.

And, if you think about it, they are survivors. Certainly, Maslow was a survivor – read about it here. But,you must admit that  your average pussy has leapfrogged all canine’s in the old evolutionary scheme. The good old sabre tooth has evolved into the cute, purry domesticated feline that gets his human slaves to attend to its every wish and whim. And, at the same time it survives today in the guise of the lion – the king of the jungle; and, the tiger – the big daddy of them all. Now your average Bengal would whup the ass of your average wolf, fox or dingo!

Cats rock. Dogs suck.


Entry filed under: middleman. Tags: , , , .

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