I Know When I’m Going To Die!

September 3, 2010 at 7:39 am Leave a comment

Vauxhall Motors

Image via Wikipedia

I know when I’m going to die. Well, not precisely. Just give or take a few years. I am going to die in 1990! Hold on, it’s 2010. I should have died 20 years ago. Well, if this is Heaven then the Church should be done for false advertising. If this is Hell, well I wish I’d misbehaved a bit more before I passed.

What am I on about? Well, talking of false advertising, have you seen the TV Ads for Vauxhall’s Lifetime Warranty? If not, then you can read about it here. They claim to be so confident about reliability that they will issue a lifetime warranty. Now for sure, reliability has improved somewhat since my last Vauxhall – a Vauxhall Viva which was killed by my mate Phil (who went on to pocket the money he got for scrapping it even though I had gifted the car to him gratis – never trust a Yorkshireman!). But, a lifetime?

Not exactly, if you then look at the small print (it is shown only fleetingly on the TV commercial but is a bit more evident on their website) you realise that their “lifetime” is capped at 100,000 miles. Are they having a laugh? When I was a rep on the road in the late 80s, I was doing excess of 30,000 miles a year. hence my rudimentary mathematics. Even today, I do 10,000 miles a year without breaking a sweat. I passed my test at 17, so even with my now moderate mileage my expected life expectancy – according to Vauxhall – would be only 27!

Incidentally, 10,000 miles a year is considered to be the average for UK drivers. The average life expectancy in the UK is 79.4 years. Now, I could be wrong (there is always a first time 😉 ), but, I think that most people typically take their driving test long before their 69th birthday……….

Surely, no-one will be duped by Vauxhall’s false claim? Is that a scythe in the griffin’s claw aka the Grim Reaper………..


Entry filed under: middleman. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

William Hague Farewell Lucy. Sob!

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