“We’re Doomed!”

February 17, 2009 at 9:07 am 6 comments

doomed

To quote Private Fraser from the great British cult tv comedy classic, Dad’s Army, “We’re doomed, I say. Doomed”.

It would seem that the credit crunch is causing a fundamental shift in the British economy which is likely to have a devastating long-term impact upon the society in which we live.

Domino’s Pizzas have reported a 24.7% increase in profits. Apparently this is the result of a shift in buying habits, with people looking for cheaper alternatives to eating out. Yesterday, KFC announced that they would be creating 9,000 new jobsin the UK. This follows announcements from Tescos supermarket that they are recruiting heavily.

We are fast becoming a nation of shelf stackers and fast food junkies. Help. I need to emigrate. I’m normal – get me out of here.

Readers of these pages will know that I am far from a fan of KFC – read about it here. And, my past experience would indicate that if I am forced to go self-sufficient in order to get fresh vegetables, then I am likely to starve. Felicity Kendal (sigh), I am not! But, if we are to become a nation of obese couch potatoes sharing our lives and relationships in the full glare of Jeremy Kyle the I will have no choice but to consider departing these shores.

But, where to go? And, how to get there? If things continue as they are then I am even unlikely to survive the flight out of here. Undoubtedly, I will be crushed to death in my plane seat by a Fatty resting after a double pepperoni and zinger burger – read about it here.

Where’s my passport………..

 

 

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Entry filed under: Cautionary Tales, Economy, Politics, rant. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Here Comes The Boss  |  February 17, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    Doooooooooooooomed! At least we’ll all have enough grease for these cars that run on chip fat!

    I’m not sure that there are many kid who go through school dreaming of one day working in KFC and delivering pizzas. It’s scary…we’re doomed, doomed, doomed!

    Like

    Reply
  • 2. Middle Man  |  February 18, 2009 at 8:58 am

    Dear Here Comes The Boss,

    Unfortunately the Audi TT doesn’t run on chip fat either 😉

    Doomed again!

    Like

    Reply
  • 3. renaissanceronin  |  February 19, 2009 at 2:46 am

    Buy a shipping container. Fill it with KFC and iced coolers full of beer. Push it into the water. Attach KFC Billboard to the top of it, to catch the wind… Point it towards Bermuda. Enter container thru hatch on top (you were prepared for this, right?)

    Relax, because shipping containers are tough, and water-tight. Eat cold chicken, and drink beer. You’ll be in Hamilton in no time! Hey, head back up top and work on your tan!

    One you clear customs in Hamilton, refuel coolers and KFC stash (head for Queen Street), and point container towards New York City.

    And when you arrive at our sunny shores, you’ll be grizzled, grumpy, and ready for that “reality TV show” you’re sure to get!

    A quick trip to any restaurant but KFC will cure the grumpiness! After all, you’re sick of chicken by now, eh?

    Like

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  • 4. Middle Man  |  February 19, 2009 at 8:13 am

    Dear Renaissanceronin,

    I like your thinking. Would have to hope, though, that the hatch was huge. Otherwise I would be trapped inside and unable to get out.

    Like

    Reply
  • 5. matildagretchen  |  February 19, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    Go for Barbados. We were there a few years ago, and the government has banned McDonalds from setting up on the island as it would take away revenue from local businesses and affect exporting.

    It’s bloody warm though.

    Like

    Reply
  • 6. Elexis  |  March 3, 2009 at 6:39 am

    Just dropping by.Btw, you website have great content!

    ______________________________
    THIS IS A DREAM JOB! No gimmicks. No catch. Work from home whenever you want!

    Like

    Reply

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