The Times They Are A Changin Part 4

July 20, 2007 at 12:44 pm 14 comments

Good Manners

Manners, good and bad. Etiquette. Class. They have been much in the news recently. I am not entirely sure why this is newsworthy when there is a war on in Iraq and Afghanistan and a maniac gunman is massacring students in American universities. But, newsworthy it seems to be. This was probably prompted by the recent (but maybe back on again) demise of the relationship of Prince William and Kate Middleton, and, rumours of a gum-chewing mother (Kate’s not William’s of course!) offending the royal sensibilities (another oxymoron) at some do or another as the possible cause.

Can you imagine it? They may have split up because he was embarrassed by the potential in-laws. Sorry? This is Prince Charles’ son we are talking about. I mean, it is not as if his own family is full of perfect role models is it. Gin swillers. Racists. Affairs and infidelity. Rumours of Charlie taking advantage of his male staff members. I choose my words advisedly. If you know what I mean…..

Kate Middleton seemed to be a great catch by any bloke’s assessment. And you would have thought she would be a parent-pleaser too. Bright, beautiful, composed, well-dressed, discreet. And I have never seen her with a Wriggley’s in her mouth.

Take away the title and the money and what has William got going for him? He is already going bald. He dresses like his dad. Oh, and he has a career in the Forces. Well, he has a career in the forces safe in the knowledge that he will progress through the ranks without ever facing a shot in anger. Unless the Queen or Prince Philip take a shot at him during a gin-enraged hunting tantrum. William is a toy soldier. Unlike his Uncle Andrew who flew helicopters in the Falklands Crisis twenty years ago. And, unlike his brother Harry – the one who looks like James Hewitt – who is keen to put his life on the line fighting the Taliban in darkest Afghanistan. Is it just me or is the uncanny resemblance between Prince Henry, to give him his posh name, and the former lover of Princess Diana just a coincidence? Are those Beefeaters I can hear on the drive?

Anyhow, manners. It is all so confusing! I have always opened the door for people. Men and women. Young and old. I have never differentiated. I have endeavoured to be polite to them all. These days, however, it just seems to get you into trouble. It just makes my blood boil.What is so difficult about it? If you are approaching a door or passing through a door at the same time as someone else – anyone else – you hold it open and let them pass through; they say “thank you”; and, you move on. Simple? Not! Try holding a door open for a woman these days. More often than not they will mutter something about “male chauvinism” and you end up having one of those “After you. No, after you” conversations that are just so embarrassing. Or, if they are anywhere near good looking, they will assume that you are letting them past just so you can have a sniff of their perfume as they pass and watch their wiggle as you follow them down the corridor. Wherever did they get that idea? Well……..

And, don’t get me started on old people! Pensioners. Our elders. There is a myth that old people have good manners and young people do not. How does that work? Surely the ignorant and rude young people of today grow up to be rude and ignorant old people tomorrow. The number of times I have held shop doors open for a couple of elderly ladies and they have just wafted by all blue rinse and germolene without so much as a “thank you”. As if I was a doorman or something. This makes me very angry. I normally wait until they have passed and then say “Pardon” very loudly, just in case they are hard of hearing. Typically they respond by saying, “I didn’t say anything”, to which I retort, “Oh, I thought you might have said thank you”. I trust they are duly embarrassed and shame-faced. More than that, I hope they say “thank you” the next time that someone does something nice to them.

One day you will probably find me lying in a pool of my own blood, clubbed by an angry octogenarian’s walking stick. Or clutching my balls, having been kneed in the groin by an irate perfumed feminist in a short, tight skirt…… 




Entry filed under: humour, Politics, rant. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

The Times They Are A Changin Part 3 Celebrity Spotting Part 1

14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. deasil  |  June 4, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    It’s nice to know I’m not the only person troubled by the lack of recognition shown to us door-holders. You express it much better than I.
    Hope you don’t give up the faith – some feminists, myself included, really DO appreciate having the door held open for us.
    As a very general rule, I say whoever gets there first holds the door open for others. Thanks for the comment and cheers!


  • 2. hired4genius  |  June 17, 2008 at 6:31 am

    Let’s face it… Life is a minefield, and unless you’re wearing armor-plated knickers, it’s a good idea to fly under the radar! I’ve been nice, and I’ve been “invisible.” Stealth mode is better! LOL!

    Besides, girls find “mystery” becoming!

    So, I’d rather be remembered as “old whats-his-name who was always surrounded by bad girls,” than the guy who got his butt handed to him by a (gasp!) girl, for committing the crime of holding an open door, or hailing a cab.

    If they want equal pay, they get equal play. That’s what I say…

    (But not TOO loud, or my wife will hear me. And she knows where I sleep! LOL!)

    Good on ya, mate!


  • 3. paisleyandplaid  |  June 17, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    Manners are necessary because they allow us, sel-centered people that we are, to live together in relative comfort. Proper social behavior can preclude embarrassment, misunderstanding, and even hurt feelings. How does a door in the face make us feel?

    As deasil says, we appreciate the courtesy. It doesn’t go unnoticed. Manners, after all, are not a gender, race, or creed issue.


  • 4. rockchick7517  |  June 18, 2008 at 7:11 pm

    Just as you came and apologized for the bad mouthed men in my post, I am here to apologize for the ladies who are bad mannered. I too, will hold the door open for anyone and I ALWAYS say thank you. So don’t give up on the door holding, as someone will appreciate it, even if there are many that don’t even notice. They are the ones missing out on the good things in life, like manners.


  • 5. wildkitty  |  July 25, 2008 at 11:51 pm

    Nice to see the other side of the coin – and the ending of your rant was hilarious 😉 Thanks for dropping in – feel free to visit often!


  • 6. Maya  |  August 1, 2008 at 9:08 am

    Perhaps all these people should be sent to countries where chivalry is scarce so they’ll learn to appreciate it.
    I don’t expect people to open doors for me. But when they do, I really notice and appreciate the courtesy. And thank them (with my nicest smile if I don’t know them).


  • 7. gildedfolly  |  August 4, 2008 at 11:12 am

    Oh golly. You’re right, I did enjoy this. And when people don’t thank me for holding the door I have a nasty habit of calling “You’re welcome!” after them in a pointed tone. Bad manners are one of my pet hates!


  • 8. hhdavid65  |  October 7, 2008 at 12:17 am

    Thoroughly enjoyable, but true. I just posted about the very same thing!
    Deleting Comments


  • 9. hhdavid65  |  October 7, 2008 at 12:19 am

    Grr, Google Chrome. Sorry for the broken link!
    Deleting Comments


  • 10. rooksgolla  |  October 10, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    HHAHA! I totally agree! I hate when people don’t say thank you….it comes natural TO MOST. And then there’s THE OTHERRRRSSSS.

    However, I say give people the benefit of the doubt. Here’s why: I always say thank you BUT one time when I accidentally did not. EEK. I was having a conversation w/ my boyfriend (now husband) and we didn’t notice someone was holding the door open for us. We went through the door on the other side. OOPS BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER I GUESS. The biyatch yelled (not said) but YELLED ” I WAS HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN FOR YOU UGHHHHH!” I said, “oh no…sorry I didn’t see!” (sincerely), she was on her cellphone too at the time. She said to her friend on the phone “Sorry, I was holding open the door for this bitch”…

    If she was paying attention she would have seen that we were engrossed in conversation and really didn’t see her.
    She held her hand out to my face.

    OH hell no. Why open the door for someone when you’re really a bitch deep down inside….forcing yourself to do your “good deed” of the day. That may not be true for most upset door holders…but trust me it was true for her.


  • 11. limespark  |  November 7, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    This made me laugh.
    Door opening is definitely an awkward dance sometimes. I make it a point to thank the person, but I’ve noticed if I (being a teenage female) hold open the door for another woman, I often get strange looks.
    *sigh* If I ever have a kid, they had damn well better be polite.


  • 12. Soma  |  December 16, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    Thanks for the input. I appreciate it. It’s nice to know that there are still gentlemen in the world. 🙂


  • 13. charmfinder  |  August 4, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    Door holders unite! I too hold doors and thank those who hold doors open for me. Luckily, I’ve never had a bad door opening experience from either side of the threshold, but perhaps it’s a Southern thing (I’m from Kentucky, but now live in Texas).

    I’m not saying Southerners have better manners — believe me, we have plenty of faults in that department and others — but most of us appreciate and practice good manners, lest we take the switch from Granny (this fear is instilled at an early age and seemingly never goes away!).

    Middleman, please keep holding doors, being polite and thanking people, because I’m convinced that if we keep spreading kindness, it’ll eventually catch on. Pollyanna-ish? Maybe, but I’m OK with being called that name — I’ve been called worse!

    As for the seemingly sudden interest in etiquette and manners, especially when there are so many more important things going on in the world, maybe because hate, war and all around sadness dominate the headlines, we are searching for goodness in ourselves and others. Also, as our respective countries become further entwined via the global economy and our various ethnicities, cultures and religions clash and meld, we are compelled — or should be — to search for ways to get along socially and in business.

    As Emily Post, the grande dame of etiquette said, “Etiquette is the science of living. It embraces everything. It is ethics. It is honor.” I couldn’t agree more.

    Thanks for the post; thanks for holding doors and saying thank you; thanks for your post on my blog; and please accept my apologies for the long-winded comment on yours, but as a person who writes about etiquette, I couldn’t help it!




  • 14. Why is etiquette important? « Re-find  |  August 4, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    […] you (to which we say thank you for reading, commenting and agreeing!) shared a link to his blog Middle Man. In it he […]



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