Most Haunted

February 15, 2013 at 2:05 pm Leave a comment

most haunted

I am an addict. I am ashamed to admit it but I am addicted to Most Haunted, the UK paranormal mystery documentary show which ran from 2002 to 2010 and is now rerun on a daily basis on Pick TV.

Now, let me begin by stating that I do believe in ghosts, or, at least I would like to be able to. But, the most terrifying aspects of the Most Haunted show are often Yvette Fielding’s (the presenter) latest hairstyle and the hammy acting of the fake medium, Derek Acorah. Derek (pronounced Derrick – he’s a Scouser) was outed by parapsychologist Dr. Ciarán O’ Keeffe, who admitted to feeding the mad medium with false information relating to two ghosts called Kreed Kafer and Rik Eedles, only to find that Acorah was “possessed” by the two spirits during filming. Kreed Kafer and Rik Eedles are anagrams of “Derek Faker” and “Derek Lies”.

curlyAnd, I do not believe that Derek was the only faker on the show, by a long stretch. I suspect that most of the so-called mediums had prior knowledge of the location and that most of their revelations were by the power of Google rather than their ability to commune with the dead, undead, spirit people or astral beings. There must be a pretty finite list of “haunted” locations in the UK worth filming and I suspect it is not beyond the wit of a “professional” medium to gen up on them. Of course, some get caught out, such as when they had to switch locations at the last minute and seemingly forgot to tell Mr Acorah, who promptly made contact with ghosts from the original, changed location.yvette

Other mediums are more impressive. And so, when walking into a defunct military bunker a medium might suddenly be overwhelmed by images of soldiers. When walking into the site of Judge Jeffreys’ Bloody Assizes, another medium might get images of Roundheads (not quite but close enough) and men kneeling and begging for mercy. No shit, Sherlock!

It is funny how the soundman can never quite pick up what the ghost hunters can hear in the room. In the room they are adamant that they can hear such things as “Wooo wooooo woooo” and “”you’re going to die Fielding!” but it never quite gets captured by the man with the big fluffy microphone. Similarly, Fielding and the team often claim to have seen movement and lights or “orbs” which represent the movement of spirits, but, which actually look amazing like moths, feathers and dust to novices such as myself.

Some of the more terrifying aspects of the show are the incidents in which things get thrown at members of the team, or when a truth is revealed when using a Ouija Board, or when a table begins to rock violently without an obvious explanation during a séance. Well, I think I can explain those incidents. Karl Beattie. Methinks he be to blame. He is always present when these events take place. He is Yvette’s partner and the show’s producer and he is as big a sham as Derek – he once claimed to be the only living Samurai outside of Japan. Who would have thought that a fellow of the elite warrior class and follower of the bushido code could be so easily spooked in the dark…..

yvette 1Apparently Yvette and Karl now live on a farm near Sandbach – which is very near me. Perhaps we will bump into them at the Old Hall, which featured on the show in series 5…….

Sandbach, incidentally is off junction 17 of the M6 which has often been dubbed the “Most Haunted Motorway“.

Incidentally, you can read why I do believe in ghosts here.

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I am regressing! Fat Man of Europe

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