The Joy of Middle Age

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I know that 40 is the new 30 but……..

Tomorrow I have the joy of visiting an opticians to select the frames for my new glasses. To be fair, this will be my first ever pair of spectacles. To date I have had perfect 20:20 vision and have survived without the need for glasses or contact lenses. But no more! The arrival of my forty-fifth year has coincided with an increase in my use of laptop, iPad and iPhone and I have been diagnosed as suffering from “near use fatigue” which, I guess, is newspeak for “you need reading glasses”.

Now, I know I should count myself lucky that I have got this far without the need for glasses. And, I know that my better half will select a REALLY EXPENSIVE and nice pair of designer frames which will (hopefully) magically make me look both more intelligent and handsome at the same time, as if that were possible……..But, I cannot help but take it as further evidence of middle age and bodily deterioration. I’m not happy……………..

So, my eyesight is deteriorating. I am already virtually deaf (and often selectively so) in one ear. I have a dodgy knee which prevents otherwise startling displays of physical prowess. I have been a “silver fox” for a number of years now and I am losing an ever more difficult battle against the thick, curly grey hairs attempting to take over my eyebrows. And as for nasal hair and ear hair, well, let’s just not go there. And, my moobs are, unfortunately, more Katy Price than Peter Andre.

But, somewhere inside there is still a virile, enthusiastic, fit twenty something struggling to get out…….

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• Is It Time for Reading Glasses? (everydayhealth.com)

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