Ostrich Mentality

Some people really do like to bury their head in the sand and pretend that all is well with the world. Well, it ain’t!

Can you believe that the most complained about TV Advert during 2008 was an ad for Barnardos, the children charity? The ad was purposefully designed to shock in order to highlight domestic abuse and the impact on children. It stressed the need to break the circle of violence. Read more about it here.

You can view the ad on You Tube here (warning – if you live your life like an ostrich and bury your head at the first sign of trouble you WILL find this advert upsetting):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b1Y1CrNWgU

Surely it is better to bring such things into the open; to talk about them; and, maybe to be more aware of disturbing behaviours in kids that might point at a need for help. Help which may save them from abuse. But no. In this country people seem to be more than content to bury their heads under their duvets. If they cannot see the monster under their bed then the monster can’t get them…….

The fact that nearly as many people complained about a car ad featuring a dog because they were concerned about the animal’s welfare just goes to show that there is something wrong in our society. We hide ourselves from child abuse but stand up for the poor down-trodden animals.

Something is wrong. So very wrong. Let’s live in the real world and change it for the better.

National Shame

This Government’s treatment of the Gurkha veterans is nothing short of a national disgrace (read about it here).

These brave warriors from the kingdom of Nepal have served the United kingdom with honour and distinction for more than 250 years. In the First World War alone some 200,000 Gurkhas fought across the globe, suffering 20,000 casualties and earning over 2,000 bravery awards. In all conflicts since serving this country since 1857 there have been 26 Victoria Crosses awarded to Gurkha soldiers.

My own uncle, then an RSM in the Royal Marines (serving onboard HMS Belfast) fought alongside the Gurkhas in the Korean War and could not speak highly enough about his comrades in arms.

And yet, our Government refuses to grant the veterans unconditional equality on pensions and residency rights with other British Army veterans claiming that we would be inundated with veterans draining our resources and over-burdening the NHS. So, while we continue to turn a blind eye to illegal immigrants, have given carte blanche to members of the European Union and seem unable to stem the steady increase in economic migrants and political refugees, we seem unable to look after our own. Unable to look after those who were prepared to and indeed have sacrificed everything in the service of our Queen and country. Shame on you Gordon Brown. Shame on you Britain.

Please follow this link to the Campaign for Justice being lead by Joanna Lumley and sign the petition.

UPDATE – GOOD NEWS

Ministers defeated in Gurkha vote

The rules on Gurkhas entering the UK were changed last week The government has lost a Commons vote on its policy of restricting the right of former Gurkhas to settle in the UK. MPs voted by 267 to 246 in favour of a Lib Dem motion that the government should extend an equal right of residence to all Gurkhas. Earlier Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg said the current policy, announced by the government last week, was “shameful”. Gordon Brown said earlier he wanted justice for the Gurkhas but any policy change had to be affordable.

Swine Flu

So, that old “butterfly effect” again! A pig sneezes somewhere in the ruins of Tenochtitlan and a brief Mexican wave later we have a pandemic of swine flu and a further risk to the global economy as up to 30% of the workforce dies, goes sick or stays at home to tend their loved ones or through fear of mingling with the great unwashed.

So, will this be just another damp squib like Bird Flu, SARS and the great Ebola scare of recent times, or, are we really on the verge of finding ourselves living out an episode of Survivors for real? Hell, and it’s not as if our Texan buddies need an excuse to shoot the odd Mexican that strays across their ranches at the best of time.

Conspiracy theorists are already claiming that the virus is man-made. Sceptics might also claim that it is a useful distraction from some of the world’s more pressing political and economic travails. For sure, anything that keeps Gordon Brown off our news screens is most welcome.

Well, Cancun may well be off my holiday destination list for the time being. And, I might hold my breath for as long as I can next time I am flying. But, I won’t be rushing out to buy bottled water, tinned peaches and a shotgun and holing up in an underground bunker just yet……

Recycling Madness

A red sticker appeared on my grey household waste bin this week stating that I could no longer use my HOUSEHOLD WASTE bin for:

• Paper
• Cardboard
• Plastics
• Glass
• Cans
• Textiles

I already have a brown bin for my garden waste and compostable goods.

This begs the question – what on Earth can I use my grey household waste bin for?

My grey bin used to be collected once a week. It would often be full. I am sure that I will soon be advised that my grey bin will only be collected once a fortnight. And, frankly, this will make perfect sense for it will be empty. It will be empty for I am not allowed to put anything in it which might pass for the normal definition of  “household waste”.

My problem is that all other “bins” are collected only once a fortnight and that the single “bin” that I have for each variety – blue for bottles,  jars and cans; brown for garden waste; red for plastics; green for paper and cardboard – is insufficient for my demand. 

I live in Cheshire for heavens sake, my two weekly consumption of wine means that the blue bin is overflowing even before I get to the empty tins of chopped tomatoes with basil and chick peas. It takes me two hours to cut the lawn so you can be sure that the brown bin is full. And, just a single Sunday Times complete with magazines and other inserts is sufficient to fill a green bag.

And, I resent the fact that I have to further damage the environment by washing everything out before inserting it into each of the multi-coloured bins (all of which clash terribly with the kitchen decor!) just in case the bin man was to get his hands dirty…….

But at least the cat is happy – he won’t have as far to go to get his fill of mice, rats, flies, wasps and other such vermin.

And, why do they make all of the recycling bins out of plastic? How on Earth will we dispose of them when they have worn out?

Seriously though, can someone tell me what I can put in my grey bin?

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Electric Cars

So, Grumpy Gordon Brown wants us all to buy and drive electric cars?Indeed, he is willing to incentivise us up to £5,000 to make his dream of “Electric Cities” come true – read about it here.

I don’t think so.

You would have to pay me more than £5,000 to fund the disguise I would need to wear so as not to be seen driving one of these Noddy Cars, or, to fund the therapy costs if I were to be discovered. Well I guess I might consider a Tesla Roadster (0 to 62mph in less than 4 seconds and a top speed of 130mph) but I am not sure that Gordon’s generosity would bring it within my price range (>£87,000), and to be honest, I have only just ditched the Audi TT as impractical.

Now I recognise that the technology is improving but it would have to improve a great deal more to pursuade me out of my Q5. In particular there are some well-publicised downsides:

1) Charging – at the moment it would seem that it would take me a couple of hours to charge my electric car, which is a bit of a bugger if you have forgotten to plug it in overnight. It would easily spoil your cornflakes as you attempted to rush out the door on your way to that career-making meeting in the morning.

2) Range – at the moment it would seem that I would struggle to drive to the pub at the bottom of our road without recharging

3) Speed – and I certainly wouldn’t be able to outrun the police and their pesky breathalysers on the way back from the pub

4) Safety – and because they are so slow you are sure to be mown down by a Polish HGV driver texting while driving and the typical electric vehicle offers as much crash protection as a St Christopher medal i.e. limited to the power of prayer

5) Environmental impact – electric cars may have zero emissions but until we get the national grid and the power stations sorted we will all die as a result of the additional coal that needs to be burned to generate the additional electricity required

6) Sexism – not to mention that we would have stranded women drivers all over the place. It is well known that the fairer sex is incapable of changing a fuse on a plug.

7) Urban v Rural strife – yet again Gormless Gordon seems to be favouring the cities over the countryside with his Electric City dream. This is all well and good if you live in a city, but, I don’t. It may be more help if they invested in a sensible rural public transport infrastructure. My nearest bus is two and a half miles walk away, it only comes on Tuesday and Friday, and doesn’t go anywhere I would like to go, except Waitrose.

So until the technology, the performance, the infrastructure, and the design improves you will just have to eat my exhaust emissions.

This post was sponsored by Shell International.

Jade’s Back In BB (Big Brother)

This was the headline in today’s Daily Star Comic (it has more pictures than words; the words are in very big type and most are monosyllabic; and, the most common colour is “skin”). According to the Daily Rag:

“Big Brother bosses want one of Jade Goody’s closest pals to star in the new series so her “fantastic spirit can live on for ever in the house”.”

So, not just cashing in then?

I am sorry but what is it with this new Cult of Jade Goody? She seems to have eclipsed even Princess Diana. The Sun (more successful comic than the Star, with bigger and better breasts) has a whole page of their on-line site dedicated to Jade:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/jade_goody/

I am sure that Big Brother doesn’t have to worry though. I am fairly certain that they will not have to make do with just friends of the Essex girl. Of course they could wait for that elusive window of opportunity and film the show on the rare occasion that her husband, Jack Tweed, is out of jail. If they also filled the house with 16 year old boys and taxi drivers for Jack to beat up I am sure that the ratings would be out of this world. But no, I am fairly sure that Big Brother will somehow manage to get Jade back in person. Not through some Jurassic Park type experiment in DNA. Not through cloning  – surely that would hasten the end of the human race as the average household pet would have a higher IQ.

No. Given the overwhelming emotion and energy that surrounds the Cult of Jade, I am fairly certain that this Easter weekend will see the Second Coming of Jade. She is sure to rise from the dead and take her rightful place at the right hand of Davina McCall.

Please, please, please let the girl Rest In Peace……….and give the rest of us a break at the same time.

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Four Minute Warning

I was working alone in an office in Prague, capital of the Czech Republic, at noon today when the four minute warning sounded across the city.

The alarm took the format of an old WWII air raid siren accompanied by a repeated announcement which I clearly did not understand at the time, it being in Czech. But, being a native of the nation that survived the Blitz and the Cold War I did not panic. I did what every sensible person would do at times such as these. I went onto Facebook and left a message saying goodbye to all my friends and telling my wife that I loved her.

My sense of panic increased a tad when a friend responded saying that she too was in the middle of a similar warning but that she was in Clermont Ferrand in France. Were the Russians invading Western Europe? Were aliens taking advantage of the G20 summit in London to wipe out the planet’s leaders in one fell swoop?

I was distracted somewhat by suggestions from another friend who shall remain nameless (Vanessa Coll) about what I could do with the remaining three minutes of my like. Frankly, however, most were impractical, illegal and anatomically impossible. But that is the kind of girl she is Always good in a crisis.

As it turns out, the city-wide security alarm is tested every first Wednesday of the month. This follows lessons learnt during the flooding of the city in 2002. I do not know how the public announcement in Czech translates. Presumably it means something like “this is a test” or “non-Czech speakers are in danger of drowning”.