Whatever Happened To The News?

March 12, 2008 at 6:56 pm 11 comments

Whatever Happened To The News?

Who on Earth thinks that is a good idea to have “Dancing” Bill Turnbull front the BBC Breakfast News? He is hardly a classic news anchor, though he does rhyme with one. He is so smug, so smarmy, so uninspiring, so un-serious, so un-witty, so un-fashionable, and, so, so boring.

His favourite hobbies are bee keeping and ballroom dancing for chrissake! He lowers the tone with his un-naturally plucked eyebrows that hint at a grooming regime that is far more stringent than that of his glamorous colleagues (especially Louise Minchin who often looks as if she has just made it in after a very harrowing trip into the office or an evening doing the kind of things that men fantasize about).

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He lowers the tone with his boring suits and offensive ties. He lowers the tone when attempting, unsuccessfully to conjure witty links between the news stories (I use that term loosely), the weather, the sports report, and those humorous (not) articles they put on about such things as Dancing Dogs at Crufts and the like, or the all-too-frequent and blatant advertisements for the BBC’s own programming – Celebrity Strictly Come Dancing, the Apprentice and so on.

Increasingly, they seem to forget to report the news or do so only fleetingly. We are fighting two wars, there is genocide in Darfur, and we are inundated by stories of children pretending to be news reporters, how to make a pancake, obese cats, and Chris Mullin (the sports presenter who is frequently linked with rumours of off-camera nookie with Carol Kirkwood, the weather presenter) in a rather unattractive all-in-one body suit used by Olympic swimmers.

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The whole programme would be an absolute nightmare and waste of time if it hadn’t been for the constant distraction of his side-kicks. Like Dr Who, Turnbull comes with his own companion, who is usually an intelligent, easy-on-the-eye, foxy if not sexy female presenter. The list is extensive, but, I will include it here for no other reason than it will dramatically increase the hits I get, especially from those very sad souls that somehow always find my posts on Cheshire Swingers, or Sleeping With Julia Roberts (see my post on Strange Visitors by way of explanation) with their very obscure search terms. Sophie Raworth, Natasha Kaplinski (far too much make-up), sporty Kate Silverton, Mishal Husain, and, of course, the dynamic duo which get most men of a certain age going in the morning; the epitome of pint-sized foxiness Susanna Reid (often misspelt in search engines) and Sian Williams. And, not forgetting the glamorous weather girls with which our Bill flirts so furiously: Carol Kirkwood, Helen Willetts, and Louise Lear. Boy, this is going to be my best day ever! ”Carol Kirkwood cleavage” and “Sophie Raworth Legs” are some of the most popular searches in the blogosphere – hands up if you found this site through those searches. Dirty boy!

Bill’s colleagues are all smart and professional. They fill in the serious bits when Bill isn’t reminding us that he too appeared in Celebrity Strictly Come Dancing. Presumably he was attracted by the make-up and the flouncy dresses. Please BBC, Kill Bill! Kick him into touch. Put him out to grass. If it were not for Sian and Susanna it would be nigh on impossible to drag myself out of the bed in the morning. Sometimes it is a relief when I am in a hurry and have to dash to my car and the serious news reporting of the Today programme on Radio 4 –  John Humphrys is a god! At least they seem to take the news seriously and in-depth. What a contrast.

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Post script. I have long since given up on Bill Turnbill and the BBC News in the morning and have gone over to the joys of Sky News with its witty banter from Eamonn Holmes, the easy on the eye Charlotte Hawkins reading the news, and the oh so sexy Lucy Verasamy who puts all other weather girls in the shade.

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Cooking Up A Storm! I Blame Jeremy Kyle

11 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Aaron James  |  April 23, 2008 at 6:46 am

    Bill Turnbull is excellent dont diss the Turnbullmeister.

    He does a better job than you fools could do.

    And he was a news presenter wayy before going on strictly come dancing.

    Like

    Reply
  • 2. Middle Man  |  May 7, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    Please define “excellent”.

    Like

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  • 3. MrCrip  |  September 16, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    I don’t mind Bill Turnbull, but I would far rather have a Sian Williams and Susanna Reid double act!

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  • 4. the gas victim of old london town  |  September 19, 2009 at 5:02 am

    Yes, lets see the back of Turnbull – jaded , deadpan without the wit, achingly dull – almost deceased and incisive in every respect..
    Let the delightfully bright and able Susanna Reid helm the show – given the responsibility she will hone her skill and excel.
    I would like to see them ape “Today” for gravitas – not drift toward the numbing somnambulistic dross of ITV’s morning offering.
    Bring back Maya Even from the much missed Money Show for authoratative business features , or the BBC’s current economics girl Stephanie of Stephanomics fame.
    Personally i find it increasingly hard to concentrate on serious news items with Susanna Reid crossing/uncrossing those gorgeous legs of hers… – but i like the challenge and it certainly gets me up in the morning.
    Let Susanna Reid and Maya Even (coincidently Maya also has gorgeously shapely legs) create a truly fiery investigative news programme worthy of the BBC.

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  • 5. iGrump  |  November 24, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    It’s a condition of employment. For men to work on the BBC news programmes they must be smug, bad tie wearing, boring, smug, tits.

    Dan Corbett and Bill Turnbull are proof of that. Nick Robinson fits the bill too. And Peston.

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  • 6. Rob  |  February 18, 2010 at 7:30 am

    Finally, some common sense! (almost)

    Bill is not just poor he’s damn depressing, makes dishwater glimmer with potential and seems to be designed for a time gone by. Susana Reid is no better in my humble opinion, with her false concern and transparent contempt between them they have forced me to Sky in the morning. The Sky team is just so much more professional and actually have some ‘real’ intelligent humour worked into their reporting of the worlds dismal performance. BBC news is driftwood compared to the light attractive Charlotte Hawkins and Lucy Verasamy. Eamonn Holmes is no beauty but he’s about 500 times more engaging than that old Turnbill bloke!

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    • 7. Middle Man  |  February 18, 2010 at 8:46 am

      Hey Rob, I’m on your wavelength and have converted to Sky News for the same reason – Lucy and Charlotte ;)

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      Reply
  • 8. Peter Reynolds  |  June 3, 2010 at 11:26 am

    I can see that you’re a pervert just like me. It’s the smartly dressed, thirty-something with good eye contact that really does it for me too. Just imagine… no don’t. Leave me to imagine that all on my own

    Like

    Reply
  • 9. anonymous  |  November 14, 2012 at 11:53 am

    Sophie raworth is a babe , didn’t realise her ti

    Like

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  • 10. anonymous  |  November 14, 2012 at 11:56 am

    Sophie raworth is a babe didn’t realise her tits are so big and what a pair of nips !!!!!! BBC topless news ?

    Like

    Reply
  • 11. cheap nfl jerseys  |  January 4, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    Asking questions are truly nice thing if you are not understanding anything fully, but this post offers
    nice understanding even.

    Like

    Reply

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